Hello, U.S.A.

I have to make this fairly quick because I've got meatloafing AOL on my computer now to get online, so I know it will be meatloafing up my computer up for years to come and right now it makes my computer crash like every 5 minutes...:-(

So the flight from Sydney to L.A. was okay except for the fact that I wanted to amputate my ass - I'd forgotten how painful it is to just SIT for that long. I had a window seat (not cute, but at least it's much better than a middle!) and I was sitting next to this nice elderly Asian couple who live in Kentucky. I was like, " WHAT? They have Asian people in Kentucky!???" Amazing.

Anyway, the poor old wife sitting next to me, I think she may have had Tourettes or something because she kept doing this odd head/neck/face twitching thing like EVERY five minutes and she'd make this weird sound and then she'd stick her hands/arms up in the air as if to try to stop herself from doing it? It was like she'd have a little fit for 45 seconds, then it would stop. And then 5 minutes later, it would happen all over again. I just acted like I didn't notice anything. That poor woman, my god! And she was the loudest yawner I've ever heard - she sounded like a cat hissing every time - the poor dear!

I didn't really sleep on the flight - maybe 15 minutes here or there, but I was okay. It was mostly my ass that was the problem. Of course, I knew I was in trouble when I arrived in L.A. and while walking into Customs, the first thing I see is a big framed picture of the Head Monkey, George 'Dubya' Bush, smiling his monkey smile at me, the American flag billowing in the background. As if that's the first thing I wanted to see when entering the country! I was already feeling nauseous from the 'joys of being a woman' on the 14 hour flight from Sydney - so I found this extra assaulting!

Anyhoo, I made it to Chicago okay and experienced my first king size bed (awesome!) and my first pathetic attempt at ordering room service (it was probably the cheapest thing anyone's ordered for room service, ever, but whatever.) The king size bed rocked, particularly as I knew I'd be sleeping on the same firm single bed I slept on from age 3 to age 18, for the next 3 weeks. Wheeee!

The next day the hotel shuttle took me to the airport to catch a flight to Hartford/Springfield. Of course I got into a fight with the elderly driving me. He asked me where I flew in from yesterday, so we started talking about Australia, politics, then George Bush. He asked me if Australians liked George Bush and I said I could only tell him what my friends thought and that my friends weren't fans of his. He was all shocked and asked if I liked George Bush and I said, "No, I'm not a fan of his at ALL" - the guy swerved the car into the next highway lane and looked at me in the mirror and said, "Um, I wish you hadn't told me that." I was like, "WHY? Are you not going to take me to the airport now???" Of course this guy had a Southern accent, so I should have realised there was an increased chance of him being a Dubya fan. So he asked me why I don't like Bush and I said something like, "Where do I begin?" And I mentioned something about Bush not even actually winning the Presidential election, yet still acting as President and the guy flipped out and was like, "HE DID TOO WIN!" yadda yadda. So we were discussing the Iraq war, and the whole U.N. thang and the mythical weapons of mass destruction and he was getting all upset at me and kept saying, "I really wish we hadn't started talking about this!" over and over. Oh, the guy actually said he not only supported the war in Iraq, but that he thought George Bush did "what shoulda been done long ago!" OY! When we got to the airport, he looked all sad like a puppy dog and was like, "I REALLY wish we hadn't talked about that. That was ugly. I hope you don't hate me." I was like, "Um, sir, this is AMERICA, right? You are entitled to your opinion, I am entitled to mine! We don't have to agree - it is okay that we don't agree! The fact that we can discuss our opposing view points is great." And he just nodded sadly. JAYSUS! I referred him to "Stupid White Men" by my hero, Michael Moore, but I somehow doubt he'll be stopping by his local bookshop to pick that baby up. ;-)

So, being back in the U.S. is a little weird. I feel a bit like I am in a foreign country. It's all surreal. Like I know I was just here a year ago, but I feel like I've been away for MUCH longer than that? It is strange hearing only American accents and the weird prices - $1.17, or $2.29 etc, I'm like, "what?" And I've forgotten how impatient some people are here too, but mostly people are just making me laugh so much. The commercials, the signs, the new products, it's all hilarious to me.

It's very good to see my aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents, even though it's depressing that my adorable 10 year old cousin Jessie (a girl) is up to my chin now! I am so short! I really am the runt in the family - I must have gotten all the recessive 'height' genes :(

The good news is, I have finally broken 100 pounds!!!! Yay! I'm like 103, around 47 kilos, if my parents' scale is right. I didn't think I'd ever stop being a 98 pound weakling! Okay, I'll shut up about this now - I can hear friends' telling me off in their heads for cheering about gaining weight ;-)

My dad is very insistent that I go in to talk to his co-workers this year because I saw my mother's co-workers last year. Good thing my dad isn't at all competitive! ;-) Oh, and it gets better - my dad wants me to go say hello to his BARBERS! Um, I have never met these guys before! EVER! But he wants the barbers to meet me because he has told them about me. Do they think I don't exist?

I'm also supposed to meet some 50 year old Israeli guy who works in my mom's building because he is going to New Zealand next month and wants to talk to me about it. So, I'm really 'in demand' - hehe ;-)

My parents are taking me to Foxwoods Casino this Friday night, of course. I'm sure we would have gone gambling already had this not been the first week back at school for kids and too busy a week for my mother. (She works at the School Department.)

I want to go see the Dr. Seuss Museum again, which is pretty much across the street from my mom's office but she says to be careful because there was a shooting in the grassy area outside the museum, in broad daylight, in the afternoon, about a month ago. That's a bit freaky. We always had a bit of violence downtown at night every now and then, but it seems as though the people committing crimes are getting a bit bolder!

I'm going in to Boston for about 2 days to see my beloved future husband Jason Mraz play a gig @ the Roxy and I'll catch up with some friends there, so that should be good. Can't wait!

I've been having a hard time getting online lately. As I mentioned before, AOL keeps crashing my computer and I'm only connecting at about 26bps, which is just so depressing.

Anyhoo, once I get back on a proper sleeping schedule, everything should be smooth sailing. I'm looking forward to seeing buds in Boston, going to eat at all my favourite places in Springfield/Boston, going to see Bruce Springsteen with my Aunt, going to the Big E (Eastern States Exposition - which basically means lots more yummy food) and going shopping at all my favourite thrift stores where all the clothes are super cheap and fit me perfectly ;-).

I'm also looking forward to taking my little grandmother out to lunch at her favourite place next week - I will be pretty much the only person in the restaurant under 75 and they all think I'm 14 and can't believe that I drove my grandmother there all by myself and want to ask "how do your feet reach the pedals?" :-)

And it will be great to see my grandfather too - I like to tell him my crazy stories to get him to laugh. :-)

I've been going through a bunch of old photos and old girlie school notes that I found from grade 5 and 6 and ohmygod was I such a little drama queen! My friends were too! I have so many notes to and from friends about guys that I liked that I knew weren't interested - looks like some things haven't changed THAT much except now I write emails instead of notes! Hehe - just kidding...kinda ;-) And I think I'm actually much less of a drama queen now (which I know may shock a lot of you!) ;-)

Anyway, everything is surreal, but very entertaining so far!

I'm outtie!

p.s. Apologies for crappy photo quality - once I get my website 'fixed' - I'll post them there.