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B-Fly: An Oz Blog

Sunday, March 01, 2009

The Bus Blogs: Part 1 - Mr Peachy

A man in his mid-30s got on my bus to work one weekday morning. He proceeded to speak extremely loudly to the bus driver about how it's been so hot during the week, some days he's had to go through 3 or 4 shirts, because he's just that sweaty.

Charming.

But he then let everyone on the bus know that he really didn't have time to be doing laundry every day, so for that day, it was going to be that one peach shirt, all day.

I peered over at him to see that his peach shirt was already soaked in sweat.

Seriously classy!

There were many nanas on my bus. When Mr. Peachy started going on and on about how he didn't have a girlfriend, the Nana Collective perked up. “No girlfriend, eh? What, is he advertising now?” chirped Beige Nana. Peachy then revealed, “Actually, it's been about three or four years since I've had a girlfriend.” Polka-dotted Nana grumbled, “Yeah, big surprise there!”

Peachy continued talking loudly about how great it was being single. “I don't have to answer to anybody! I can go out any time I like, whenever I like, with whomever I like. I don't answer to anyone! Being single is the best!” He then asked the bus driver if he had a girlfriend. The bus driver weakly answered, “I'm married.” Peachy tried to backtrack. “Oh, don't get me wrong, if I met the right gal, I'd love to get married.” The Nanas rolled their eyes. “Yep, he's advertising alright!” said Beige Nana.

Peachy wasn't done yet. “But I do love being single. I am independent, I have no responsibilities, and I have no one at all I can count on...it's great...” He trailed off, sounding very sad and unconvincing. Beige Nana said, “Awww, poor fella, you really do have to feel a bit sorry for him, don't you?” Polka-dotted Nana piped up, “No, you really don't!”

Obviously Mr. Peachy was really keen to snag himself a girlfriend on the bus, but announcing to everyone that he routinely sweated through several shirts a day was not exactly going to make the ladies swoon.

Good luck, Peachy! I hope you find yourself a Missus who can't get enough of a sweaty guy who goes through 21 shirts a week. Yee-haw!

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