M.ardi G.ras 2004: Is this a sign or what?

One of the most surreal and hilarious nights of my life occurred last night. I had signed up to march in the Sydney G.ay and L.esbian M.ardi G.ras Parade because a) I thought it would be fun and funny, b) I have stood as close as you can to the parade and the only way to get a better view is to actually be IN the parade, and c) I have so many gay friends, I figured it was about time I show some support and get all dolled up in the process.

I knew it was going to be a rough night when it poured most of the day and didn't seem to be letting up any time soon. I was supposed to meet up with my marching group around 5pm because I was wearing my own costume but I had friends who were going to get there around 3pm because they had to put on their superhero costumes that the crew had made...so at 3pm I was calling them like, "Um, are we allowed to bring umbrellas? Mine has butterflies on it!" (Thanks, Dad!) Yes, the theme this year was the butterfly, imagine that. I was all prepared for M.ardi G.ras in the b-fly department.

So at 5pm I turn up at the meeting spot, which was at a police station in Sury Hills. I am the only dressed up person there. So it's just me and the cops. Lovely. I felt a tad conspicuous, obviously, and I was trying to look confident, giving off a 'No, I am not a h.ooker, thank you, I am just here for the M.ardi G.ras!" vibe. At least I hope I was.

I started text messaging my friends to make sure I was in the right spot. I was. I was just the only one there. About 20 minutes later I see this cute pair of boys across the street with pink dyed hair, wearing undies decorated with pink and purple feathers, and purple slippers. I waved for them to come over as I was feeling quite silly in my pink spandex outfit amongst all the police officers. So the boys came over and they were indeed marching in my group, yay! Then my friends arrived looking cute and hilarious in their Superhero costumes (we were marching for equal rights for superannuation) and we took some photos. They gave everyone ponchos to keep us dry, but the hoods kept flying off and it seemed a bit anti-climactic to have gotten all dressed up only to put on the plastic ponchos - they were clear, but still....

2 and a half hours later, we were actually getting ready to line-up...there were all these signs we were supposed to carry and there was this one sign that no one would go near. 20 minutes later one of the group leaders came up to me and was like, "Would you please do me a big favour and carry a sign?" I said sure....and of course, it was the sign that nobody wanted....the "P.REGNANT L.ESBIANS" sign....of course that is the sign I would get to carry - the one that would give me the most interesting looks. This woman came up to me and said, "Oh honey! Good for you, I marched in the parade last year when I was 8 months pregnant, so good on ya!" Hahahahahaha!

Yeah. Cause I look so p.regnant and all.....I know I ate before the parade, but seriously, unless I was giving birth to a grape or something....there's no way I was looking preggers ;-)


Anyhoo, so yes, I decided it was time to take one for the team and I agreed to carry the sign in the parade. The cute pink haired g.ay boys came up to me all puzzled and were like, "Um, are you actually p.regnant?" I said no. Then they were like, "Um, are you even a l.esbian?" And I said no again. They were laughing, "Talk about false advertising!" Hahahahaha! Ain't that the truth!

Then a friend and I were asked to help hold the g.ay and l.esbian flag, along with about 12 other people - it was huge and heavy from the rain. So I had my hands/arms full!

We decided to be brave and put down the umbrellas and ponchos and walk in the rain and bear the downpour and the winds. Not that I could have carried an umbrella anyway. I could have used two hands just to hold the sign that kept getting blown around, I got quite the tricep/shoulder works outs from holding the flag and the sign together.

So, the whole experience was hilarious. The crowd was amazing. So psyched and supportive! You'd have thought we were all celebrities the way they were cheering and yelling. I was just relieved that people were there at all. The weather was so crap I was worried no one would come. Obviously there were less people, than usual but there were still heaps of peeps there yelling and waving and taking photos. It was a great vibe - the crowd definitely rocked, as did all the cool people and great costumes! What was extra hilarious was that people kept yelling out to me and cheering me on..."Go p.regnant l.esbian! WOOOOOOOOOOO! You go, girl!" and "Yay! P.regnant L.esbian - AHHHHHHHH!" I kept cracking up! The more people yelled at me, the higher I raised the sign. I had no idea that p.regnant l.esbians would be such a crowd pleaser. It's good to know they have support. You go, girls!

So, we were all proud of ourselves for marching in the cold and the rain - we were shivering and soaked through but when we reached the end, (ahhh, wet spandex!) I was like, "Awwww, that's it?" It was heaps of fun even though my left arm/shoulder hate me today. :-)

Even funnier is that apparently I made it on the national news this evening, on Channel 9, with my infamous sign. My friend Tam saw it, on the 6 o'clock news, but I missed it. I'm wondering if anyone else saw...I can imagine pals from Perth to Melbourne going, "Huh...so she did give up on those Sydney boys after all!" ;-)

Anyhoo, mom and dad, just in case you happen to see some photos or video footage, let me clear the record...a) I am not preggers and b) I have not given up on straight men in Sydney yet! ;-)

Happy M.ardi G.ras everyone!

p.s. I covered the face of Superman in there cause I haven't asked him yet if I can put the photo of him on my blog...I think he'll be happy to be in it, but just in case ;-)